Today Sucks

Today is not a good day. Some of our closest friends who were due 4 days before us found out they lost the baby. I am so full of a slew of emotions but really I feel numb. I feel so absolutely horrible that I can't do anything to help or make them feel better. I also feel like now I will be a constant reminder seeing we were "supposed" to be pregnant together, we were so excited. I know that miscarriages are very common and it's your body's way of saying something is wrong. I am trying to stay positive for them, at least they know they can get pregnant and I KNOW it will happen again for them . I cannot imagine the sadness they are feeling right now, how do you console someone after something like this happens?

Ever since finding out we were pregnant my biggest fear is losing the baby. I don't know why I have this deep seeded thought. Maybe I read too many things on the internet. Maybe it's because my mom miscarried twice before me. I still feel like with being only 11 weeks I shouldn't get fully excited because we are not out of the woods yet and if anything it feels more like a reality because it happened to someone so close to us.

10 WEEKS AND 4 DAYS

So I am 10 weeks and 4 days pregnant and I can honestly say I really don't feel much different. I guess the most noticeable is just how tired I am, it's hard for me to get out of bed in the morning. On the weekends where I usually am up super early to take full advantage of the day, I am now sleeping in. I know rest is a good thing I mean I am growing a human being! My clothes are getting a  little tighter but I feel more "fat" than pregnant. I can tell that my hormones are affecting my emotions because I get upset or angry very easily.

I am very excited about the coming months and actually "feeling" more pregnant and of course can't wait to hold a new little baby that David and I made...with all this excitement I am also feeling a sense of frustration, I wanted to be pregnant. Let me rephrase that, I WAS ACHING to be pregnant! But now that it's actually happening all I keep thinking is about the things I can't do for the next 7+ months. While David is making plans to go to concerts and small weekend trips I'm just thinking about how hot this summer will be and how uncomfortable I will be.  I know I need to get out of this funk and keep positive and I think once I get through the first trimester it will be easier. I guess I just thought the minute we saw the positive on the test everything would be butterflies and unicorns but alas it's only tight clothing and a million bathroom trips!

Has it seriously been a year?

This Sunday will be our 1 year wedding anniversary. HOLY CRAP! this year has flown by at an incredible pace and I am sure it is just the beginning. We leave tonight for Emerald Isle where we will just relax and enjoy being with eachother for a few days. Sunday on our way back we will take a detour to my parents house to visit with them and see Aunt Bonnie, can't wait!

Our First Doctor's Appointment

We had our first Dr.'s appointment on Tuesday. I was a little disappointed that we did not get a set due date but that won't happen until my next appointment which is Thursday.  So for this appointment we had "nurse talk" which consisted of drilling us on family history, telling me what I can and can't eat yada yada...they took about a gallon of blood, I peed in a cup and then we got to see the babe! Being that I was only slightly over 7 weeks, it's still a  little blob on the screen and measures about a 1/2", we saw the flicker of the heart beat and actually got to hear it. The whole thing definitely made it more "real". I have been feeling fine lately. A little nausea here and there but nothing scary or crazy like I have read about. Sleeping has become an issue because I am up to pee like 6 times a night. I keep joking with David we need to get one of those toilet seat things next to my bed like my grandmother has, I guess that will be last resort :) the nurse told us it should subside in the 2nd trimester.

In other news....

-Found out yesterday our friends Dave and Paige are expecting a little boy on July 24th, very excited for them!